(Originally written: June 20, 2011) The other day at work I was chatting with one of my bosses as we always do to pass the time. I love this boss. He's so chill and relaxed and he doesn't 'crack the whip' when things are done the wrong way. I think it's because he's younger that we can relate so much but I digress. We were just chatting about random stuff when we got onto the subject of resumes. I told him how I was only keeping my other job because it looks great on a resume (reminder that I currently have two jobs, one that I like with the cool boss who chats with me and one where I find my brain melting to mush). My boss then went on to ask me about my resume and what things I had put on it. We went back in forth from schooling to languages to references and so forth. Yeah boring conversation but much better than working. Finally we got to 'Special Skills' which to me is a stupid category. Employers don't care if you can pogo stick for 20 minutes or if you can operate a BobCat (unless you are applying for a pogo stick/BobCat related job of course). I told him my resume doesn't include a 'Special Skills' section and he told me that I should add one right away! It got me wondering; if I did indeed have a 'Special Skills' section, which ridiculous skills would I choose to include?
Special Skill #1: Laser Tag. Yes that's right, Laser Tag! Reggie and I went laser tagging the other night with a few of his coworkers. It was a lot of fun! But not only was it fun, it was a revelation! I discovered that I have a natural born gift for laser tag. I don't know if it's God's way of telling me to join to army or what but I have amazing aim and stealth skills! I got 2nd place in the last round! Now I'm not trying to brag or anything but I was the only girl amongst a sea of testosterone and I kicked some booty! The fact that most of this 'sea' consisted of boys under the age of 11 doesn't play into the fact that I rule. End of story. Laser Tag is now a special skill.
Special Skill # 2: Being fake nice. Alright so my closest friends know this about me but perhaps Reader you do not. I have an uncanny ability to be 'fake nice' to anyone I meet. Whether it be someone I don't particularly care for or whether it be a day when I'm grumpy as all hell, I'll always be able to put on a grin and be a polite little angel. I can't remember if it was Jess or Karina or maybe Reggie who said that I have a 'phone voice'. By phone voice they meant me talking about an octave higher and being super polite while emphasizing certain syllables (the 'an' in 'and' so it almost sounds southern for example). It's funny because around my friends I can be grumpy or say things that may upset people but they still love me.
Special Skill #3: Quoting. Ask anyone who has spent more than two minutes with me what it is I do the most and they will all answer with 'quoting'. I have the weirdest brain in the world sometimes. I can sit and study physiology for hours and not retain a thing and yet I'll watch an episode of The Simpsons, South Park, YGOTAS, etc. and remember every funny quote that's said. My sibling and I used to have YGOTAS quote wars, the longest which lasted over an hour was unfortunately won by her but I still say she cheated! (Curse you sibling!) Reggie, Karina and I literally talk in riddles to people who don't know the shows we watch. We basically have our own language which is made up of quotes. If Reggie's reading this right now he'd know exactly what I meant if I said 'woof woof' or 'his knees are ticking time balls' and if Karina is reading this I'd have to say 'Happy tastes like sad'. It's a skill and it's something to be proud of.
Special Skill #4: Illegal U-Turns. An inside joke among anyone who's ridden in a car with me and myself is that I can't get in my car and drive somewhere without making an illegal u-turn. Don't ask me why, I just love doing them and they really do help you change directions in a pinch. The best is when there's a 'no u-turn' sign and you do one anyways! I'll never forget the first illegal u-turn I did with Karina in the car. She was like 'You know you just did an illegal u-turn' and all I did was laugh. Then again Karina's a very good driver (since her dad was a driving instructor at one point) so she probably just didn't realize that illegal u-turns are a skill and should be appreciated as such. (Note that legal u-turns are still fun but not as challenging to accomplish nor should they be praised.)
Well Reader what do you think? Should I make a 'Special Skills' section on my resume and include the four things I just talked about? Yeah I think so too. I mean who wouldn't want to hire a laser tagging, fake nice, quoting, illegal u-turner with half a science degree and Norwegian as an extra language. Yep, the next interview I get should go swimmingly. ;)
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