(Originally written: March 27, 2011) Some songs don't make sense. I'm not talking about the Beatles kind of music where everything's a metaphor for something that no one could ever possibly figure out. No those songs don't really make sense but I'm talking about the songs that have certain lines that just infuriate me. I also know that my dear Reader is probably thinking the following, "Victorialune, you tend to get infuriated by a lot of things and it's the author's poet license to write/sing what they chose." Very true and very good points Reader. But guess what? It's my poetic license to write/sing (but you won't hear me singing....) what I chose! And for this post I chose to diss some awesome songs that have some very stupid lines.
The first song I'm talking about is Tim McGraw's "Just to See You Smile". What an awesome song! I seriously adore Tim McGraw and I adore his music! This song is catchy and really adorable but there's some things that make me wonder... Tim McGraw is a catch! Am I wrong here? He's friggin' famous, rich and SMEXY. In this song he sings about how he'd do anything to make his girl smile. Awwww cute right? Ok so here's the part that gets me a little confused/angry. He says that he quit his job in Amarillo (which I assume is some USA town/city?) just so he could go along with his girl to where ever she's heading. Aww cute again. Too bad she turns around after he's moved to be with her and goes "Yeah I need time/space". Of course Tim McGraw wants to 'see her smile' so he inclines. She then goes on to get a new guy and FLAUNTS her new beau in front of poor Tim. I'm sorry but this girl is just a biatch! Tim McGraw gave up his life to go live with you and then you basically ditch him the first chance you get?! Hello?! It's TIM MCGRAW! How anyone could give that cowboy up is beyond me.
The next song is definitely a given. "Onana, What's Your Name" by Rhianna is one of the most annoying/catchy/stupid songs on the planet at the moment. First of all, what the hell does 'onana' mean?! I would really like someone to enlighten me on this subject because as far as I'm concerned it's gibberish to fill lines that she couldn't make on her own. The other thing that bothers me is that in the song she goes "What's your name... Onana." Okay so you're asking what someone's name is and then you're answering with 'onana'. Umm I don't want to burst your bubble Rhianna but that's probably not anyone's name. If she would've had the lyrics "What's my name... Rhianna." it would've made A LOT more sense. Another cash grab from the girl who gave us "Umbrella, ella, ella, ay, ay, ay" and who could forget "Please don't stop the music.... Please don't stop the music.... Please don't stop the music....". I think I rest my case here.
Did you really think I could go on a rant about stupid lyrics and not include Miss Miley Cyrus? Well I couldn't. So here we go with "Party in the USA". I have to admit that I secretly adore this song. It's one of those "LET'S GET PUMPED UP BY A DISNEY POP STAR" songs. Where do I even start? First of all she says "I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan" and goes on about wondering if she's going to fit in. Miley, you're ALREADY famous! Also I don't understand why she's so panicked about having a cardigan... I own probably 15 cardigans. They're in style. Why wouldn't she have a cardigan? Why is this such a big deal that is has to be mentioned in her chart toping song?! Okay so now she's arriving at the party in a 'taxi cab' and she's wearing 'kicks' and I guess she wasn't aware that one usually wears high heels to a Hollywood party... "All I see are stilettos, I guess I didn't get the memo." Miley my dear, there wasn't a memo. It's FRIGGIN' COMMON SENSE! Girls wear high heels to star studded Hollywood parties! Even people in the Amazon Rainforest tribes know this! But let's not forget she's nodding her head like "yeah" and moving her hips like "yeah". Here's an obvious question: how the hell do you "move your hips like yeah"?! I mean yes you can nod your head indicating that you agree but I would really love to learn this incredible hip language! I guess her hips don't lie. (*Yahoo!*)
I wasn't going to diss this song because I think Owl City is SUPER awesome but I know there are a lot of people who dislike him greatly. So here we go with "Fireflies". There are SO many stupid lines in this song I don't really know where to start. I guess the first line that really stands out is when he says "I get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightening bugs". Hmmm if there were ten thousand lightening bugs attempting to hug me I would definitely be trying to leave that area immediately. The next question is why the hell are these fireflies hugging him?! Can bugs even hug? I am telling you right now that, no they can not. "To ten million fireflies I'm weird cuz I hate goodbyes" is the next strange line. Okay so maybe I'm wrong but I thought there were only ten thousand fireflies. Where the heck did these extra ten million come from!? Seriously Owl City, maybe you should go into hiding because these fireflies are not going to leave you alone. But he then goes on the say "Cuz I saved a few and I keep them in a jar" so I guess he really doesn't mind the firefly invasion. Just in case he forgets where the millions of insects that swarm him wanting hugs went, he'll remember that he's got some in a jar. Alrighty then, I'll just stop this one by saying that all of his songs are strange and are probably metaphors for things that I don't understand/am not capable of figuring out since I'm not an English major.
As I mentioned to Karina on the drive home last night while listening to an infuriating song, there are far too many songs that make me upset and it would be impossible for me to remember them all. That's why I put "Part 1?" in the title. If I think of some more enraging songs then I will definitely be up for dissing them! :)
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